Love God. Love you.
I have so much to say, that I can’t say anything. I will write soon.
On a side note, I bought myself flowers today. A $3.99 bouquet of pink roses from Aldi. They make me very happy. There is a story behind that too, but for another time.
Be blessed. Love, Kim
Yep, still crying but the sun was shining today. In our weaknesses, Christ is strong. Sanctify me. Lead me, guide me. May I honor you in this season dear God. Grow me, humble me. Use me, fill me.
I cried when you picked me up at the airport because I was so happy to see you. I cried when you told me you were coming home with me for a week because I missed you so much. I cried when you shared what your boss thought of you because I’m so proud of you, too. I cried when you left again because I know I’m strong but I’m not that strong. I may cry some more and that’s okay too. Love you, honey. See you soon. ♥️
The truth is; I’ve been slacking on the self-discipline this past week and a half.
All my hard work–am I going to let it slip away?
I will not. I worked too hard for it. Down 18.5 pounds in 6 weeks; I will not revert to where I was.
I know “everything in moderation” and make sustainable changes so you can live with it. Back at it each day.
The thing is, I wanted a Big Mac junior today. That turned into a meal; that turned into a shamrock shake.
I came home to wallow (and felt sick). I took a bath, got in my pj’s, then got in bed under the covers. (This was 3pm mind you.)
Turns out you have good friends for a reason; they don’t let you settle and revert when they know how hard you have worked. Said friend invited me to join her and others on a run, and so I went. I got dressed, put the shoes on, drove to the place, ran the run.
Small victory.
My day was instantly restored. Back on track.
The wisdom I gleaned? It takes the same time to make a good decision as it does a bad decision. So don’t beat yourself up. Just make a good decision afterwards and smile to yourself knowing you overcame.
Ps: DID I TELL YOU I LOVE MY HONEY!!!!
What is your trial right now? What do you need to surrender into the Lord’s hands? What do you need to let go of? Where do you need to trust? How might God be seeking to strengthen your faith and love for the things of God and His word?
Jesus, I praise you. Thank you for carrying me when I don’t have what I need in my own strength. Thank you for blessings; for love; for life abundantly in You; for friendship and richness and solid ground. When I am floundering and think I cannot handle much more, you renew me. You call me out of the dark and into your life and hope. I praise your name. You are genuine and kind. Thank you Jesus.
Every now and then when you are still head over heels for your honey, you drive to Chicago at 2am to catch a plane to visit him. He’s only been gone 5 months.
The months have taught me patience; what it means to be a supportive wife; relying more on Jesus- the author and perfecter of my faith; and how to rediscover, find, and foster new interests and pursuits.
And now, a nap.
I did not want to go. It’s too hard. I don’t know how to swim. Maybe I’ll just drop out. I’ll just stay in bed. I know I paid the money but oh well.
Then I remembered my word: discipline.
I got out of bed. Put my swim suit on. Gathered my things, got in the car, and went.
Do you know the swim instructor, one of the three coaches, pulled me aside for a good 20 minutes, and gave me a one on one lesson. Now that’s a good coach. He jokingly said afterwards, “that will be $450.”
He recognized I was struggling. So he taught me.
I wouldn’t have gotten the lesson if I dropped out. How could I have improved my technique if I didn’t even show up?
I listened to every word he said. I watched his every move, trying to take it all in. I swam the hardest I ever swam. He recognized that. He kept telling him “slow down; take it slow, nice and easy.” (Learn the technique.”
I’m so glad I went. Victory. Now, the hard part: practicing. And remembering the training.
Dear honey;
You’d be very proud of me. While you have been away these 5 months I have been making the most of my time.
Come home soon to me.
Love, me
My honey is away on a long term project. We could go many directions with this post. Let me say, God has been working in ways only He can. Sustaining, comforting, protecting, providing, drawing me closer to Himself, and, amazingly, even closer to my love- despite the miles. The love I have for my honey is…beyond words.
God has been doing a work. In me. In my heart, and mind, soul, and strength. The pages to follow in the days and months to come will elaborate.
This life is a journey. A beautiful one. A sad, sometimes bleak, painful journey. People around me are hurting, diseased, addicted to substances; dying. Yet, life in its fragility, is able to be redeemed; picked up; restored; reborn. Jesus does all these things.
He saved me. He will save you too if you simply ask him to.
The thing I am so grateful for in this past month of my life especially, for the first time in my adult life, is my desire, longing, love, and enjoyment at MY home. By myself. I am now okay, content, and not avoiding quiet down time by myself at my home. In fact, I have found solitude. Not to say I don’t have my days, and moments. But I am so thankful for this new found peace, and place: home.
My goal today, before and during my run, was to do better than I did the previous two runs. My running buddy and I spur each other on. Even in the silence, we are rooting for each other, and for ourselves. The truth is, if she is having a slower run, I have a slower run. If I am pushing, she is pushing. And Visa versa. We are in it together, to the end. As she likes to tease “I’m not picking you up; (with the car); we have to finish.”
In real life, Some days are harder than others. Introduce hormones and emotions; conflicts, and stress, and days can get ugly.
Introduce Jesus into your steps. Jesus is like that faithful running buddy, a silent yet strong companion to be with you every day, through the 3 inch snow melt, through the slick spots, through the unplowed sidewalks truly testing your every step. Jesus is our sure footing. He’s the solid foundation. He’s the word who became flesh and dwelt among us. He is the Great Overcomer.
At the end of a run; whether we nailed it or simply finished, we give each other a high five. And we keep taking steps.
Jesus, thank you for being my strong and steady footing: my guide; my strength; my foundation; my cheerleader. Keep paving the way. Help me stick to your path. Help me on the hard days. Direct my goals and pursuits and keep me close to you. Be honored, Lord. My life is yours.
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