Blog

I am experiencing a quiet and a calm in my heart and in my own home that i’ve never fully embraced until now.

I don’t know why now–maybe now that i’m older and learned. Maybe that i have faced my fears of being alone. Faced my fears of being still, faced the stillness and allowed the reflection that awaits when you still your mind and your soul.

And i like this place.

I like this space.

When is the last time you created a space, time, and place–to process, to sit, to still yourself, and be?

.

.

.

The holidays, what a blessing and opportunity to gather and celebrate, focus on joy and giving and sparkle and cheer. They came and now we have the gift of a new year.

May i ask you–what fear do you want to face this year? What journey do you want to embark on? What challenge do you want to overcome? Where can you step outside your comfort zone? Or where do you want to find time to pause, reflect, and grow?

I have put my foot in the water and the fear of jumping in is pretty much gone. Lord, help me. Keep me humble. It feels good.

I pass this sign each time on my way to one of my work locations. I stopped today to snap a picture of it. Bonus that the sun was shining!!

Each time i make the hour drive each way, i pray for safety, protection from hitting dear, and other accidents and mishaps.

God hears my prayers. Praise his name.

Tonight was a long day, and i prayed for protection as i began my drive home in the pitch dark. Before i knew it, i realized i was going above the speed limit on these dark country, middle of nowhere roads between farm fields and Amish stores. I quickly slowed down and put my cruise control on.

Literally not more than ten seconds later, my brights shone on a large doe in the middle of the road. I swerved a touch to thank the Lord, miss it. She stood still, then walked out of the way. I was safe. My car was safe. The deer was safe.

This story may not seem like that big of a deal, but to me, my soul is stirred. The God of this world, who i have a personal relationship with as a Christian, hears me. How do i know? Besides the fact that he tells me in his Word- the Bible- that he hears, i see him and watch him answer specific prayers, all the time.

Am i special? Yes! Just as special as you and everybody else in this world. Will he answer your prayers too? Yes! If it is his will! Call on his name- “Jesus.” Confess your sin so your prayers are not hindered. God hears, and He cares.

What my brother in law, with seemingly no effort, did to my computer, in just days, is like what The Lord Jesus does to our hearts in but an instant.

My old laptop was weeks or days from being disposed of. I thought, after ten years, this computer has served me well. I guess i am going to have to just buy a new one.

No.

With an amazing know how, phil quickly assessed the situation: what was wrong, what was needed, and how to restore, rectify, and fully rejuvenate my old machine into a useful and speedy processor. Bringing life to what seemed dead and useless.

.

.

.

Do you know the restorative power of Jesus and the transformative work of the Holy Spirit in your heart, soul, mind, strength?

.

.

.

Old made new. Dead brought to life. Hope rising from ashes. Jesus. Once lost, now found. Sick, now healed. Blind, now seeing. Lame- walking.

The power of the cross and the love of the Creator of all things can fully justify you with but your invitation.

The goodness of the God of all humanity can bring hope to the most devastated soul.

Do you trust him? ….Or do you blame him? Just because he allows evil, pain, and death to exist for a time, does not mean he will always allow that. Or that he won’t fully restore all things once and for all.

You have a choice. Jesus wins. He wants you to win, too, in Him.

My laptop is but a small, insignificant piece of equipment.

Our hearts, our minds, our eternal souls, our very breath and life– these have a value far outweighing anything else in this world.

Do you want to be restored, do you want to be renewed? Do you want to be made whole? Enter in to the newness of life. Jesus awaits you.

The beauty of The Lord, is that He steps in at just the right time. In his way, in his goodness, in his loving kindness.

Our weary cries do not go unnoticed. In a heart, confessing need for a savior, for someone bigger and stronger, and wiser to make a way, God steps in.

When we come, sometimes seemingly forced to our knees, we realize we were beckoned on our knees to that lowly place, for the ultimate purpose and plan of a compassionate God, calling us to himself.

And how good he is. He breaks through–hearts, wills, defiance, pride, crushed spirits, wayward journeys. God, in his sovereignty, makes right wrongs. Opens doors once sealed shut, keys lost. Hearts, broken. Fears- seizing lives day by day and moment by moment.

The Lord God, Savior, and creator of this world, loves you. Longs for your attention. Gave up everything to try to connect with you. He is here. Wants to hear your invitation for His presence in your life, in your heart, in your mind, in your spirit.

His blessings are far beyond anything this world offers. And that does not mean he erases pain, or spares you sorrow. Only more-so, in the midst of the hurt, in the valleys of the shadows of death, of disappointment, of waiting–he is there. With you, for you, calling you to himself. For there, in Him, life and love itself, you will find peace, joy, love…abundance.

I am realizing how quickly and easily i can get distracted and discouraged.

In a world of many voices, Dear Lord, help me hear you.

This weekend, i am creating time and space to re-focus. Due to a few comments from a few people i respect, i am challenged to re-think my “whys” for a few of my goals.

In a world of many ideas of what is best, good, and true, Dear Lord, please lead me. Let me seek Your Way, your best for me, and follow Your Truth. Help me prioritize what you want me to prioritize.

In a world full of “likes” and “followers,” Dear Lord, free me from desiring the approval of others and caring so much what people think. May my aim be honoring you, Christ; loving You, and loving others. Keep me humble, And may Your voice be louder than all the rest.

How many of us navigate life like the Detroit Lions? Recognize any common patterns to self-destruct?

Now…TODAY WAS A DIFFERENT STORY.

Well done, Lions!

From the absolute start of the game, the lions set out with confidence, determination, expectation. They knew who their opponent was and they knew the skill and talent of the opposing quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, a well known veteran in the Green Bay Packer’s franchise.

Lions, i seen how you set the tone.

Stafford, you pulled out all the stops, setting your sights high and launching several long passes. Your receivers were on point! Your confidence was not lacking.

Now i do admit, near half time in famous fashion, i did start to doubt you, lions. “Oh no, lions, don’t throw this away. Come on, lions.”

And you did it!! You got the win!! You stunned all of us lions fans; you made us proud. You did not disappoint. You held it together. Your opponent did make several errors and lost some good opportunities, and you played that to your advantage.

Whatever you set your sights on today, helped you take the win.

And like us, may you walk away from this experience, where your usual may be to falter, you overcame and held your heads high. Well done, Detroit.

Did i tell you i am writing a book?

Last year, my dad and i went to a writing conference at my alma matter, Cornerstone University, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. We are excited to go back this weekend and attend and develop our stories further.

Last year, my former professor gave my dad and i feedback on our book ideas. I was reluctant to hear her say “it sounds like you have two book ideas there, Kim.”

I thought to myself, “i hardly want to write one book let alone two.” But quickly i learned she was right.

In April of this year, when my honey and i were flying home from our wonderful vacation, i pulled out the perfect writing journal i purchased while we were in Florida, and began to write. As we were flying in the clouds, the words poured out on the pages.

The woman sitting very close to me on the plane showed interest. We had a lovely conversation. She was the first person i shared my story with that i had just written in those few hours.

And then i realized what i just wrote.

I was in shock. I was angry. The story my pen was documenting was NOT the story i wanted to write. “No,” i thought, i hate this story. But i couldn’t stop writing.

I was and am–compelled–to write my story. The struggle has continued since that first chapter was written. The desire i have to share my story, and the deep rooted disdain for my story that i want to completely sever from within me.

More on this later.

So this weekend i shall go to Breathe Writing Conference. I shall glean, i shall listen, i shall seek wisdom, and i will attempt to chisel away at the firm, strong walls i have safely put around my story. Because that voice is calling me to become vulnerable, so i can help others overcome in their story as well.

This morning i undertook the hardest thing i have ever done physically. My first triathlon.

500 yard swim (think 5 football fields); 10 mile bike; 5k run (3 miles.)

It was much, much harder than i anticipated.

I could have / should have trained a lot more and a lot harder. But i didn’t drown (probably impossible with a wet suit on thank God); and i didn’t get injured (thank God.)

…..

After today, and after several other recent events and completing all the other goals i have set for myself this year up to this point, i find myself very reflective.

Why do i set such big goals for myself?

Keeping up this intensity of goals seems unsustainable.

I think i am going to start setting smaller goals for myself.

I want to be more normal/ average.

…

Or, do i ?

Who does God want me to be? What goals does he want me to set for myself? (Not just physical goals, etc.) Who has he created me to be? What does he say about me in his word?

“I am more than a conqueror in Jesus.”

…

That course was tough. I struggled through the swim and run. I don’t know what i was thinking…

Except my theme, this year especially, keeps resurfacing: “challenge yourself to grow, kim.”

So that’s what i will keep doing. I think growth is a beautiful thing. It may not come easy, but then isn’t it just all that more beautiful?

I broke down crying because I wanted to search my closet and find all my granny kisses hats she made me. I found 3 Plus the one on my head. She always told me to give them to whoever needed one. I gave several of them away over the years. I’m mad because I wish I had every single one.

Just a quick word because unfortunately it is past my bedtime…but I am overflowing tonight with the Lord’s goodness. He is at work. All the time. Do you see his hand? Do you know to look for it? He is right there. I know Life is hard and days can be very challenging. I hear trauma and crises each day. I see the pain. I have my own struggles. Death and illness and heroin addiction and brokenness and challenges. I’m invited in to these stories. But I see the Lord. He is at work, reaching out, beckoning us- his very creation, back to himself, calling us to himself to be renewed, restored, healed, redeemed. I have lived in his grace and redemption, I know it, I study it in His word and in the lives of those around me. I am blown away by the beauty he gives amidst the pain and darkness. I wonder…have you experienced this beauty in your life? I pray you do. He is so good. Today is so good and tomorrow may be so hard but God remains good and sovereign over all.

I trust in You, Lord.