The years slept by and my distance from church grew. I was torn apart on the innermost level of my being: that to be a part, however, to remain hidden. I knew from voices i once respected my mental illness was not accepted. I internalized that to mean i was not accepted. And the conflict within me grew. Especially in the church.
How could i be my authentic and genuine self when all i wanted was connection; but the shame i carried with the weight of stigma pushed me farther and father away from what i longed for.
I prayed to own the confident version of myself in the community I yearned for the most: Church family. My heart ached for what i knew God promised believers: the hands and feet extending the love of Christ.
And then prayers were answered out loud. One after one.
In the loving and bold voice spoken by a new friend at my new church.
“Anytime you need a place to belong, you belong with us.”
I didn’t know if I should hesitate. But i chose not to. I received those words like a healing balm. God spoke through this dear sister.
Simple invitations exuded the welcome “Come sit with us Kim.”
Thank you God, for seeing me. How could i not expect you to meet me. You’ve done it before, and you will do it again. Praise the name of The Lord.
Selah
